I have to admit, I tried to be overly clever with the title of this blog post. I was at the beach the other day and the tide was coming in; it was changing. I suddenly had the title for this blog post I had written several weeks ago and couldn't bring myself to post.
I guess I should start with this. I'm a newlywed; by all sense of the word in my opinion. I have been married about a year and a half to the best man I have and could ever know. He is my rock, my other half, my encourager, and (to be cliche) the love of my life. I have enjoyed the blissful beginnings of my marriage even though not perfect. I smile as I watch my husband play with our dog Rebel or mow the lawn outside as I make him lunch. I chuckle on the inside as he stares openly at the refrigerator trying to decide if he is hungry or not. I am truly happy and content. God has given me such a blessing in this little family.
But as the months slowly tick down to when our baby girl is due, I can't help but feel sadness. With all the emotions of pregnancy and getting ready for this new life that we are now responsible for, I can't help but feel disappointed that it is no longer the the two of us. The change that is coming is scary and unpredictable. When these emotions come over me I feel guilt. How could I be sad about this baby girl? I already love her so much and I'm even more excited for her to get here so that our family will grow! So how can both of these emotions live in tandem within my heart? How can I feel sadness in a time of such joy?
Change. It's a new season. The changing tide if you will, and I have never been very good at it.
I can't wait to meet my baby girl. I can't wait to hold her in my arms and experience the cuddles that only a newborn can give. I look forward to watching her discover new things and see the world through her little eyes. But most importantly, I am overly excited to watch her relationship with her daddy. To see my husband become a father and take on that role of protector, hero, and at times "mean daddy" if she doesn't get her way. The thought of seeing him grow into this brings me to happy tears.
O what a wave (ocean reference again...I'm good right?) of emotions this new chapter of my life brings. I need to cut myself some slack. It's okay to feel sad about it not just being my husband and me anymore. BUT-- I also welcome, with pure happiness and joy, this little addition to our family. I can't wait for you to get here baby girl!